Mom Brain Is Real and I’m Learning to Work With It
I once spent ten minutes tearing the house apart looking for my phone, only to realize it was in my hand. Another time, I opened the fridge and just stood there with no clue why I went in. If you have had moments like this after becoming a mom, then congratulations, you have unlocked mom brain. It feels like the sharp memory you used to trust suddenly went missing.
The good news is you are not losing your mind. The fog, the forgetfulness, the “why did I walk into this room” moments all have real reasons behind them. You know that thing where you head to your room to get something, and by the time you are standing there, you have no idea why you came in? Or you are talking mid-sentence and suddenly forget what you were even saying? Sometimes you are so busy that you even lose track of what day it is. That is mom brain in action. And while it is frustrating, you are definitely not alone.
What is “Mom Brain”?
Mom brain (also called mommy brain, baby brain, or even momnesia) is the term we throw around to explain the brain fog and forgetfulness that show up during pregnancy and after having kids. It’s that mix of memory lapses, trouble concentrating, and feeling like your short-term memory has checked out.
Research backs it up. Studies show real cognitive changes happen during pregnancy and postpartum. For some women, brain imaging even shows neuroplasticity, or shifts in how the brain processes information. That does not mean you are broken. It means your brain is adapting to motherhood.
What is “Mom Brain”?
Hormonal changes
Lack of Sleep
The invisible mental load
Stress and Overwhelm
Actual brain changes
What Mom Brain Looks Like in Real Life
- Walking into a room and forgetting why you are there
- Struggling to finish a sentence or find the right word
- Missing appointments or forgetting small tasks
- Buying the same groceries twice because you forgot you already stocked up
- Feeling like your memory is unreliable compared to before kids
- The guilt spiral that follows because you used to feel sharper
How Long Does It Last
This is the part no one loves to hear. It depends.
For some moms, the fog is strongest during pregnancy and newborn months, then eases as sleep and routines improve. For others, it lingers through toddlerhood. Some studies even suggest the brain stays different for years. That does not mean you are permanently damaged. It means your brain has adapted in ways that may actually help in caregiving roles.
You might not feel exactly like your pre-kids self again. And maybe that is okay.
Why It Feels Worse Than It Looks
Many moms will tell you they feel like their memory has completely fallen apart, but when researchers put that to the test, the results are not always as dramatic. In some studies, moms scored about the same as women who had not given birth when it came to short-term memory tasks.
So why does it feel so much worse in real life? Part of it is the weight of responsibility. Before kids, forgetting an errand was no big deal. After kids, forgetting can mean missed medicine, a hungry toddler, or a late school pickup. The stakes are higher, so every slip feels bigger. Add sleep deprivation and constant multitasking, and even normal forgetfulness stands out more.
In other words, your experience is real, but it is not always proof that your brain has lost its ability to function. It is your life circumstances shining a spotlight on every little slip.
So if you feel foggy, that experience is valid. But it does not always mean you are less capable.
The Pressure to Have It All Together
Mom brain often gets painted as a weakness because of expectations. There is this picture of the mom who remembers every birthday, keeps up with school schedules, and never forgets where she put her keys. That is wonderful if it works for her, but not every mom’s reality looks like that.
When you forget something simple, it can feel like proof that you are failing. The truth is, you are not failing. You are doing the work of three people on too little sleep.
Social media adds another layer. We usually see the polished moments, not the full story behind them. That can make our own brain fog feel heavier, like it is only happening to us. But the truth is, forgetfulness does not make you less capable. It makes you human.
What Helps
- Rest whenever possible. Even short naps matter.
- Write things down. Lists, sticky notes, phone reminders, whatever works. Getting it out of your head frees up mental space.
- Build habits. Keep essentials like keys and wallets in the same spot. Small routines make a big difference. I love how James Clear puts it in Atomic Habits: it is not about doing something perfectly, it is about starting small and doing it consistently.
- Share the load. Let your partner, family, or friends carry part of it.
- Take mini breaks. Five minutes of quiet or deep breathing resets your focus more than you think.
- Offer yourself compassion. The standard you held before kids is not the same one you need now.
If you need something lighter to read, I also shared what I would tell my old self about motherhood.
When to Talk to a Professional
Mom brain is common, but sometimes it is a sign of something more. If you notice severe memory loss, confusion, or disorientation, talk to your doctor.
If the fog pairs with anxiety, sadness, or signs of postpartum depression, reach out for support. It is better to check than to push through silently.
The Other Side of Mom Brain
It is easy to focus on what feels lost, but motherhood also adds. Some studies suggest moms gain stronger empathy, adaptability, and even long-term cognitive reserve. There is a term, matrescence, to describe the developmental stage of becoming a mother. Just like adolescence reshapes teenagers, motherhood reshapes us.
So yes, you may lose track of the day or forget why you walked into the kitchen, but you also grow in ways that make you capable of raising little humans.
Myth Busting: Quick FAQ
Is mom brain real or just an excuse?
How long does mom brain last?
What are the symptoms of mom brain?
Yes, only during the first few days. That black sticky stuff is called meconium.
After that stage, black poop is not normal anymore and could mean digested blood. Always worth checking in with your doctor.
Is it just from lack of sleep?
When should I worry?
Before You Forget Again
Mom brain is real, but it does not mean you are broken. It is the mix of hormones, lack of sleep, the invisible mental load, and a brain that is literally reshaping itself to keep up with motherhood.
So the next time you find the remote in the freezer or realize you have been wearing your shirt inside out all morning, do not beat yourself up. Laugh if you can, roll your eyes if you need to, and remember that every mom has been there. Your brain is not failing you. It is just working in a whole new way.
