My Story as a First Time Mom
I always had a rough time with my period. The cramps were terrible. I would get dizzy, look pale, and my cycle lasted way too long every month. Eventually, I went to see an OB-GYN. After a series of tests and bloodwork, I was diagnosed with PCOS. The doctor told me it might be hard for me to get pregnant and suggested trying before I turned 30 if I ever planned to have kids. I was only 22 at the time.
I did not know if motherhood would ever be part of my story, and that thought quietly made me sad. For some reason, having kids had always been a dream of mine. Maybe it did not make sense to others, especially at that age, but if you knew what my life was like back then, you would understand why it mattered so much to me.
The Blurry Lines That Changed Everything
About a year later, I got a mild fever. No nausea, no dramatic symptoms. I just felt off. My mom looked at me and said, “You’re pregnant.” I laughed it off, but something made me buy a test anyway. Two blurry lines showed up. Not bold. Not even clear. But enough to make me sit down and stare.
I was not sure what to think. The first thing I did after telling my mom was post the photo somewhere online. I honestly cannot remember where anymore, it has been almost seven years. Strangers started giving their opinions. Most said it looked positive and congratulated me. Others told me to get checked to be sure. A few said to stay calm until it was confirmed. Still, that blurry line was enough to make me happy.
The Second Test That Changed Everything
It was December when my former boss invited us to dinner. I was having a great time until something I ate made me throw up. That made me wonder again if I really was pregnant. When we got home, I asked my partner to buy another test since mornings are supposed to give the most accurate result.
The next day, I went straight to the bathroom. No five-minute wait this time. Two clear lines appeared right away.
Because of my PCOS, missing periods was nothing new. I could go months without one, so pregnancy did not even cross my mind at first. I even went to Coron and wore a two-piece swimsuit, completely unaware. Looking back, the dizziness I felt on the ferry finally made sense.
What My Daily Life Looked Like Then
At that time, I was not working from home. My days started with crowded jeep rides, walking under the sun, and arriving at the office already drained. I worked all throughout my pregnancy and only took my leave two weeks before giving birth.
I still do not know how I managed. I was always tired, the kind of tired sleep cannot fix. Getting up in the morning felt like a full workout. I had to push myself to get ready and make it through the day.
The Symptoms No One Talks About Enough
Morning sickness hit hard. I would throw up in the bathroom before work, holding onto the toilet and trying not to cry. One time, I was in the middle of a conversation with a workmate when I had to run to the bathroom to vomit.
Hunger came out of nowhere, even right after eating. I started at 40 kilos and reached 54 by the time I gave birth. I did not realize how much I had gained until I saw old photos.
By the halfway mark, my feet started to swell. Shoes felt tight, and walking became harder, especially after sitting all day. Sleep was not restful either. I would wake up once, sometimes more, to pee. When the baby kicked low, it was enough to get me out of bed even if I had just gone.
Small Things That Made It Easier to Keep Going
As a first-time mom, I dealt with mood swings, breakouts, and body aches. Still, I tried to enjoy the moments I could. I talked to my belly in the mornings, took short walks before work because someone online said it might help with delivery, and booked a 3D ultrasound. Seeing that tiny nose and those little lips on the screen made me cry. It already felt like love.
Some days were exciting. Others were overwhelming, leaving me unsure if I was ready. I did not really know what I was supposed to be doing. All I knew was that something big was on the way.
I did not even have a proper list of what the baby would need. My due date was in the second week of August, so I thought I still had time. I had not even packed a hospital bag.
But life had other plans.
Mommy Ces
Mom of three, figuring things out one day at a time. I write about the real parts of motherhood, the messy days, the little wins, and all the in-betweens that don’t always make it to Instagram. This space is a mix of stories, reflections, and reminders that you're not alone.
